The Pain

The Pain 2966 1608 Gayl Walder Yoga

Hi everyone! I’ve been blown away by your responses to my story about my explant journey and my road back to health. Currently, I am recovering from my surgery, and working on getting my strength back. I’m doing my best to respond to all of your questions and comments, but I’m still not able to move as fast as I’d like to, so I appreciate your patience. Soon, I’ll also be posting an update about my life post-surgery, since so many of you have been asking about what my life is like now that I’ve had my toxic breast implants removed. Please keep in mind that I’m not a doctor, but I’m definitely here to answer any questions you might have about my experience. Today, I wanted to leave you guys with a poem I wrote in the middle of my struggle with chronic pain. I think it’s so important to share our experiences, good and bad, because it helps everyone remember that we are not alone.

THE PAIN – by Gayl Walder

I’m wearing my P.J.’s, I crawl into bed
There are a thousand thoughts racing through my head

My body is in pain and it hurts to breathe
I cry to myself while I pray for some reprieve

My “to-do list” keeps growing – papers piling high
I once was so organized, now all I can do is sigh

When my kids call me,
I pretend I am fine
I don’t want them to know I continue to decline

I feel so alone as I hold so much in
I just keep crying, then cover it up with a grin

I lose things, forget things, or sometimes I don’t care
It’s hard to keep up at this pace
When I feel such despair

I’m great at wearing masks,
So most people do not know
my body and soul are aching
this energetic girl now moves slow

It’s hard to believe this has gone on for much longer than a year –
The amount of time I’ve spent on tests and doctors
Has me in a state of fear

I’m in touch with my body and for that I am quite proud
I have the knowledge to say to doctors, “No more of your meds are allowed!”

I will try be patient as I wait for my explant date –
I will keep thinking positive thoughts
And trust the hands of fate

We are all in this together – though sometimes we feel alone
Crying uncontrollably, we need to acknowledge how much we’ve grown

♥️Gayl Walder